appreciate.treasure.cherish

2010-02-08T00:17:00.001+08:00

a girl's heart must be deeply hidden within God, that a man must find God, to find her heart =)

first entry of the year

2010-01-16T22:11:00.001+08:00

i'm going to be 24 years old.
That's scary!
I went through 2 rounds of Zodiac so far!

will blog another time.

Marina Barrage is FUN! :D

giddy spells ---- one word: SCARY!

2009-11-17T15:00:00.002+08:00

Let me assure you that the following post is just my experience and it MIGHT not happen to you. (*but who knows right?) keke.

anyway, few days ago, which is the Sunday that just passed.
I slept in and I woke up around 12.30pm. Feeling abit dizzy, i went back to sleep.
Afterwhich, I woke up at 3plus, feeling super giddy. I cant get up and I cant turn at all. because every movement that i make, i will feel giddy. ONLY when I lie straight and look straight, I wont feel giddy.
So this is a challenge! I cant turn to the side, I cant sit straight (how about toilet-ing & seeing doctor), basically I cant do anything. I prayed, asked God for healing, hoping that it will all go away.

It was such a scary experience because I felt helpless and useless. I cant do anything to support myself because I'm just so scared to feel the giddy spells. I tried a few times by sitting up and I failed:( because it just went round and round and round. (eeerz. feeling nauseous even just thinking about it now.)

I gave up and subsequently I fell asleep. I woke up again, because I needed to pee. I took the courage to find the right 'point' of not being giddy. I managed to, but I had to slant my head to other side in order to feel less giddy. I had to eat (some biscuits), drink, change on my bed, because I just cant get out of the bed. I almost wanted to get the doctor for home consultation. But thankfully, praise God, I felt better after eating the medicine and prayer works :)

I managed to get out of the bed, with my neck being very stiff, head looking straight and nowhere else. I consulted the doctor, took an injection and immediately, went back to sleep with random wake up 'signals' in the middle of the night.

i'm much better now:)) thank God!

but why am I sharing this? Maybe you might think that I'm old and health is failing me. HAHA.
I had this imbalance of ear drums / whats nots a few times. It didnt occur to me that seriously before. However, I began to see the importance of health. It's really terrible when you are not able to be independent, and you had to rely on others for basic functions. or feeling so "xin ku" inside and no one else are able to identify with you.

I thank God for His comfort and His presence throughout this period :D

thanks to all who had been asking about my health. I'm recuperating well and hopefully back to work and everything by tmr or Thursday!
It was good to receive the encouragements and prayers and everything else :))

something that I learnt from Mitch Albom:
FAITH IS ABOUT DOING. YOU ARE HOW YOU ACT, NOT JUST HOW YOU BELIEVE :)

2009-10-03T00:58:00.000+08:00

if I cant see your Hands, I will choose to trust your Heart :D

thankyou LORD.

2009-07-26T19:07:00.002+08:00

too much to thank God for :)

glad! happy! joy!

work

2009-04-25T00:40:00.002+08:00

work is just stressful.
so many things to handle.
so many things to worry.
you can never finish all your work.
after one assignment/project is done, you will have another one waiting for you.
you have to learn how to handle stress.
to handle your boss.
to handle your colleagues.
to handle your workload.
to handle your emotions.
to handle failures and victories.
to be balanced in work and life.

sometimes i find it so hard, i struggle to handle all these well.
it's really tough, and it's also stressful. and it seems like no one understands. no one will know what you are going through, because words just cant express the way i feel. sometimes i feel helpless, discouraged and ...

BUT throughout all these, I always learnt that God is in control. no matter what happened to me at work, what frustrates me, what causes me to worry so much, whatever situation i am in, i know that God is there, and all I have to do, is to trust in Him.

i need to learn to give thanks constantly, i need to learn to trust in God, my almighty Father. i need to learn to stay close to God and spend my time with Him. and He's the only person that understands me fully :)

*not to scare you people about work, but this is something that most people will go through during work. just pray continually and give thanks :D

2009-04-08T22:02:00.001+08:00

"I would like to suggest that generosity is not something that is given because it is deserved. It is given because of the nature of the giver, not the nature of the receiver. Generosity is an expression of the love in your heart directed toward others, regardless of how they will respond."

minops one rocks!

2009-03-26T01:01:00.003+08:00

HAHA, had so much fun and laughter on MSN with them!
we were making so many random stuffs. like LILY. *see shuzhen blog too.
what a night to end. so heart warming:)

poor huaxiang, who was so confused throughout the convo. *bullying him.
steven for babbling all those weird words while studying for his test tmr. like avalokiteshvara!
shuzhen, for being cranky and entertaining!
xinyi, for the -i need to chiong finish my projs- (JIAYOU)
philo, for being there and just laughing at our convo but no response cos she was so busy. (Gambatte)
kaixiang, who had been rambling and rambling.
cong, disturbing us with his random words (JOKE)
gwen for her randomness - kongbabao!
jiali for being a joy. cause we had been talking about lilies and that made us SOOOOO excited!
and of cos, our creator, who's the BEST.
FAITH ------------ see her creation below.

I'M SO DEAD. but well, dont tell jiali k? HAHAHAHHAA.

part of the convo:

jesus blood, never fails. season of Action says:
lily bed
kaixiang. hiphop. says:
LOL
jesus blood, never fails. season of Action says:
hahaha
charis - i love this family of God... says:
yes
gwen. says:
nights jia!
jesus blood, never fails. season of Action says:
sleep on the lily
gwen. says:
dun drown!
jesus blood, never fails. season of Action says:
hahaha
yiyou faith. says:
hahahahha!
charis - i love this family of God... says:
i will
gwen. says:
LOL
jesus blood, never fails. season of Action says:
taboleh tahan
charis - i love this family of God... says:
and haunt u all tonight
`eevoon says:
jahahahaha
gwen. says:
my dreams will be sweet smelling tonight!
`eevoon says:
LOL
charis - i love this family of God... says:
holding the lily flower
`eevoon says:
i will dream of lilies
yiyou faith. says:
EEE
charis - i love this family of God... says:
and whacking all ur heads
yiyou faith. says:
ghost
charis - i love this family of God... says:
hahahaha
`eevoon says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
yiyou faith. says:
HAHAHA
gwen. says:
lol/ now tt's scary
yiyou faith. says:
i will throw the pillow back at u
charis - i love this family of God... says:
*makes ghostly sound*

Thanks all for ending my day with such joy and fun:)
loveyou! :DDDDDD

GAM XIA!

2009-03-11T23:21:00.005+08:00

nothing beats more than your good friend for almost 10years, walking the same journey as you, supporting you as you walk and as you struggle. that's very heartwarming and that's what i've been dreaming of.
such a joy, Lord.
thank you for your perfect plan :)
more to come, i believe.

living my life for you.

** now, I have TWO friends, instead of one above! how cool is that? (19/3)

"in my LIFE, be lifted high. in my WORLD, be lifted high. in our LOVE, be lifted high"

2009-03-03T00:49:00.005+08:00

This post is kinda long, but it's worth your time :)
I'm very inspired by this lady, Judith Halim.
This is not her complete story. She actually ventured out even more than this. but well, this alone is enough for you to awe at God's grace and love :)

Judith’s TESTIMONY

I am an Indonesian married to a Singaporean (ex-husband). We used to live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I was only 20 at that time. I came to Singapore in July 1994 during my 8th month of pregnancy. The objective was to have my baby born in Singapore to obtain citizenship. The second day after my delivery, the doctor released news that they detected some abnormality in my baby. The doctors brought in more specialists and concluded that my baby Joel had 4 complications:

1. 3 holes in her heart (Pulmonary Stenosis)
2. Right ventical is very thick that it prevents the blood circulation to go to the upper part of the body
3. Abnormal brain development (William Syndrome - is one of the Down Syndrome category)
4. Haemophelia Carrier

At that juncture, the doctor was convinced she will not live. He said that she will need to go through several surgical procedures when she is a little more developed, and with that they told me to return home for the time being and wait.

I was given strict instructions to watch over her very carefully and monitor her condition because if she should ‘turn blue’ she would be gone. Because of Joel’s conditions, I had to remain in Singapore to seek further medical treatment, while Joel’s father shuttled between Singapore and Jakarta.

When Joel was 1 month old, I received the most unexpected news from Joel’s Father. He said we are not meant for each other and he doesn’t love me anymore.tried so hard to save our relationship, but he never gave it a chance. And with that, he left us the next morning returning to Jakarta. Here I was, alone with a sick child, in a foreign land; my whole world had caved in on me. I kept asking myself what went wrong and

It was when Joel was 3 months old, I finally took the courage to fly to Jakarta to salvage my marriage. Then, I finally realized the problem has got nothing to do with me, but Joel’s father instead. When I got into our home in Jakarta, I saw with my own eyes that he already had another woman living with him in what used to be our home. All my dreams and my hope were completely and utterly shattered.

I returned to Singapore totally defeated, devastated, full of pain, agony, misery and depression. I decided to end it all. At that time I was living with Joel in a small rented room in a HDB flat with no money, no friends and no one to help me. There seemed to be no way out of my situation. We were on the 14th floor and my plan was to jump down with my baby.

It was in the afternoon around 2pm when I wrote a letter to my mom in Indonesia telling her how sorry I was and that I will not be able to take care of her in her old age. Just as I was finishing up with the letter, an insurance agent called and asked if I would like to take up an insurance policy for my baby. I said no and very briefly explained my circumstances. He did not push further but instead invited me to church and said to me that there is a special speaker from Armenia preaching in Wesley Methodist Church and said I should attend the service. I accepted his offer and he came to pick me up with his wife.

When we arrived, I was seated right at the back with my baby in my arms, and the place was packed with at least 1000 people. Although I used to attend church in Jakarta because my ex-husband was a Christian, I didn’t know what the singer was singing or what the preacher was saying because my mind was not on the service. Later, when the preacher invited people to an altar call, I was singled out and asked to come on stage.

He began praying and asked the whole congregation to stretch forth their hands to my direction and he began to pray. He released a word to me He said GOD knows what you are going through and you will walk out of it to be a better person and a better servant for HIM. I still don’t know what was going on at that time but I saw the whole auditorium was filled with red in color (radar red) and I gave my life to JESUS. I left the auditorium exhausted and I went straight home and slept so soundly for the first time in months.

When I woke up at 9 o’clock the next morning, and looked out the window, something felt different. I used to always stare helplessly and without hope at the same trees, the same sky, the same blocks of flats around, but something is different this time. Things around me seemed to look beautiful. Something was taken away from me supernaturally, the pain in my chest is gone, the feeling of doom and gloom is gone and I know that it has to be JESUS. It has to be HIM that healed me and took away my pain last night when everyone prayed over me at the meeting.I picked up the letter that I wrote the day before, and I told myself that I am not going to die I am going to live to share the goodness of my healer Jesus Christ, I am going to live for my daughter and I am going to live for people who appreciate me. I took the courage to break the news to my mom and invited her to come over to Singapore to help me look after my child as I’m determined to look for a job and to start my life all over again.

I began to pick up the bits and pieces of the brokenness inside of me and started to have hope. I started to look for a job. I did not speak English or mandarin at that point of time, although I had a law degree from Indonesia.

I went to many companies and law firms but was rejected because I did not speak English. I thought maybe I just apply for any sales position or even a cashier in McDonalds, but I was also rejected. Finally, I had no other choice but to accept a part time opening in F&N Coca Cola as a security guard because I spoke Malay. My pay was only $2.80 per hour, for at least 9 hours a day under the hot sun.Life was so tough, I could hardly make ends meet. My daughter was so sick and I really could not afford the medical fee, even as the doctor was pressing me to send her for surgery that will cost more than S$100k.

I was so poor that I can only afford to have one meal a day just to make sure my mother and my daughter had enough food to eat. On many occasions, I would go hungry sometimes for days, and there are times where I fill my stomach only with left over bread skin, while my mother and daughter share a packet of chicken rice.

But our GOD is a promise fulfilling GOD and HE is always faithful, HE gave me a verse in Joel 2:25-27 : HE said so I will restore you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord your GOD, who has dealt wondrously with you, and My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel; I am the Lord your GOD and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame.

Somehow, things started to change. 4 months after working as a security guard I had another offer from a construction company to be a part time sales clerk which pay $4 per hour for 3 months assignment. By HIS grace, I fulfilled the job well and the company extended my employment for another 3 months with salary of $8 per hour, by the grace of GOD, I was offered a permanent job with the company and I was made the Administrator. The company also sent me for English courses and further studies.

Again by HIS grace, I was promoted from Administrator to Asst Manager, then to Manager and later to Senior Manager and this was within the short period of 4 years. From there I was head hunted for Senior management positions in other companies and finally, GOD put me where I am today, to Manage a successful business as a Managing Director.

AND ALL THIS IS ONLY POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF GOD.EVEN TILL TODAY AS I LOOK AT MY OWN LIMITATION AND CAPACITY.I AM STILL AMAZED AND IN AWE AT THE ABUNDANCE OF GOD’S PROVISION.

As God was restoring my career and finances, it was also during this time that I met Jason, my present husband. I had gone back to church and we were introduced through a mutual friend and the rest as they say is history. The Lord restored to me a husband, a God fearing man, good husband, good father to Joel. One that accepts both me and Joel as who we are. My life was restored according to HIS promise in Joel 2:25-27.

My daughter was still very sick at that time and so thin, she was still not able to walk at the age of 4 and too weak to even stand. The doctor said that she will die and has no hope to live pass the age of 6. Even if she somehow managed to live, she will never grow physically as do normal children.When it is the end of man’s way, it is the beginning of GOD’s way. I knew at that point of time that I have GOD and my GOD is able to do what man cannot do. I began to pray with Jason, my church, my cell group, my pastor prayed and I cry out to GOD using the prayer of Hannah and I said Lord If you could look into my affliction and heal my baby I will give my life to you. And we continued to trust God for healing.In Dec 2000, when Joel was about 6 years old, I heard a voice from my inner being asking me to bring Joel back to see the specialist again.

The cardiologist did the mammogram and printed out the result to make comparison with the previous results and started asking me lots of question:
What did you do to this child? Where have you been? Why did you stop your regular visit for past 2 years?

I replied I did not do anything, I did not bring her anywhere, I only pray to my GOD And the cardiologist said, It cannot be because Joel heart is perfect, with the results showing a normal heart, which is totally different from the last scanning that was done. It is a new heart. I told the Cardiologist JESUS HEALS. Halleluyah!!!

Today Joel is 12 years old and attends a special school (APSN). She is also appointed as class monitor as well as a school prefect. With the heart complications gone, she is able to jump, run and even swim like a normal child. She also plays the piano, sings and dance. But most important of all is that she loves the Lord. AMEN!

her life is a gift from God to many of us.
what amazes me is Judith's obedience and faith in Christ :)
*ask me if you want the continuation of her story. it's more than this.

God, thank you for your love and grace once again. I can never thank you enough, Daddy. I want to fulfill your dreams in my lifetime.
"in my life, be lifted high. in my world, be lifted high. in our love, be lifted high"

touching.

2008-12-09T00:23:00.001+08:00

seriously, what's mine compared to this?
thank you God :)

it's all about God and His people.

2008-12-01T01:13:00.001+08:00

I'm such a bad blogger.
I just realised that if you scroll my blog till the end, you will see a blog post dated march 2007!
my goodness.

ohwells, I'm just lazy.

alrights, went to LC few weeks back and i must really say that LC is fantastic! though it was just a short trip, but i'm renewed and refreshed =D the teachings, the sharings, the stories, the healing session, the ministering time, the fellowship, the fun, the joy, the privilege, the spirit, the people, i TOTALLY enjoyed it! :) i'm glad to know more people and also their lives. thanks for sharing though :) short yet powerful sharings/chats encourage me to go even further =)

people really matters and that's what i'm passionate for.
a new job on the way, and it's coming soon.
i ought to prepare myself and get ready!

anyway, i'm keying all the details of those who wants to join teamhope ministries and i have around 70+ names! all the ministries were being blessed greatly by the ministry fair! it was so chaotic but it was so fun! but am glad that our people made the decision to serve God, using their talents and giftings! =))) and seriously, it doesnt matter which ministry you are serving in, what matters is your heart and your desire to grow and serve. i believe all ministries are capable of building biblical people and using your potential to the fullest. however, we are still growing, so bear with us too! we will strive together!

*thanks philo and her team for the posters, the writings and designs (:
*thanks to those who helped out at the booth, creating atmosphere and making saturday so joyful and exciting!
*thanks all who clapped and cheered for all the ministry leaders. though we served hard, but the ministry wont be what it is today without you guys! - your love, passion, commitment and faithfulness - They are what motivates and inspires us to do even more for the Kingdom of God =D

and of course, thank you God, for giving me this privilege to serve. i'm totally enjoying it =)

work!

2008-09-18T00:33:00.000+08:00

ah, have been working for almost 3weeks?
and yes, i'm feeling super tired and sometimes reluctant to go work.
HAHA. now i can fully understand what they meant by when you work, there's practically no time! i'm seriously busy in work and kinda stress over a sucky project. i hope it will end very soon, which i doubt so, cause it's so far away from what my big boss wants. but well, i need to do something! anyway, i have been complaining quite abit, sorry! but overall, the working environment is pretty okay. my colleagues are nice, friendly and i believe i will have a chance to work through them =D God is training me! (:

if i did not reply your smses fast, return your calls, reply your emails, or meet you up regularly, i am so sorry! i'm still in the midst of getting used to it and hopefully soon! i want to be effective as well! haha.

anyway, i have PT jobs like phone surveyors, door to door interviewers and random admin jobs(seldom). if you need, just let me know =D

and seriously, if you are reading my blog and you are currently studying, PLEASE appreciate your student life! HAHA. i miss it so much! the joy of waking up later than 10am and chilling out late at night! and i really agree that you utilise your student life to do meaningful stuffs and it's the best time to serve God =D

aiya, ask me if you want to know more =D i have LOTS to share! LOL.

okay, goodnight and let this week be fruitful and filled with God's love and grace!

thankGod for YOU!

2008-08-31T13:21:00.000+08:00

hoho. just a little update of my life =)

i found a job, at bugis, to conduct market research.
the working environment seems good.
starting TMR! so fast! haha.

anyway, thankyou all for celebrating my birthday.
i really really appreciate it. every single one of you =D
i felt really blessed. REALLY! thankyou for making the effort, going the extra mile to bless me, to make me feel loved. i'm really thankful for everyone of you :) this birthday, i love it so much. and of course, thankyou God for putting them in my life.

i will explain more next time i guess because i'm feeling drowsy now, after consuming medicine. cause i'm having a terrible flu, cough and i lost my voice! pray for me!

thankyou! =D

to me, life is not about myself only. it's really about God and others.

woots!

2008-07-09T02:46:00.002+08:00

wow. looking back, I abandoned my blog for THAT long.
but anyway, that's because i'm busy alright. HAHA.
*more like i'm lazy to update.

i'm currently looking for jobs and sometimes it gets unto my nerves! i have always thought that i'm considered patient, but now, i think i'm not. my gosh. i dislike the feeling of searching for jobs all day long, sending in resume and at the back of my mind is like, my personal details and info are being sent to people out there and which some companies are just irritating! well, if you know what i mean, some companies are not ethical in one way or another (by hiding their company names & working styles). i have seen sooo many that i think i can write one whole list of things to take note before applying a job. HAHA. what a way to learn such things. and i'm waiting for their replies.

well, i believe God is moulding me! to be someone that trust in His perfect plan and to mould my character (esp. patience). i feel kinda relaxed, slacky and whatever you call that. i sleep, eat, send resume, pick up calls for interviews and blah. prayerfully my dream job comes soon! (:

that aside, i really appreciate God's grace and love in my life. i've been so blessed since young. i might not have the BEST family, BEST friends, BEST health (i'm very prone to accidents since young. HAHA. trust me. i can write one whole list out!), BEST grades and so on, but God protected and guided me all these while. some of you might question like how do you know that it's God, perhaps it's just coincidences. but, life cant have SO MANY coincidences happening, well, at least for me =)
I believe in Jesus' perfect plan for me.

i always love and agree on this sentence: Coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous.

for once, open up to God and allow God to fill you. it's amazing.

sorry bloggggg

2008-05-20T01:56:00.001+08:00

OOPS. i realised that i have neglected my blog for the past 2 months! my gosh. i thought it was only a month at most ahaa.

well, exams ended few weeks ago and now, i'm a graduate!!! =DDDD time to start fulfilling my dreams! i need to look for both temp job and perm job. any lobang, PLEASE let me know! =)

yeaaaaaa, wonderful! and friends, better book me before i start working. LOL. and yes, shepherd, sheep(s), girlfriends, debbie, no worries, i have plans to chill out with you guys just before i starts work! =)

alright, i have nothing much to say next.
oh, if any youth ULs pass by, PLEASE send gwen the camp volunteers list NOW! =)

thankyou

2008-03-19T02:37:00.001+08:00

for the past few weeks,
i have been so stressed, over things onhand.
so many until i couldnt count, i lost count.
too manyyy things.

however, God showed me a different perspective in this.
when i'm down, God make ways, God open doors, God send his people.
even though it's often a small gesture, i still appreciate it greatly.
nothing means more.

thankyou =)
debbie: for lending me your laptop to do project though you might need to use, your constant encouragements.
jiayi & aloy: to accompany all of us to buy laptops and helping us all the way!
shuzhen: for being there. for your smses and encouragements.
sheeps: you guys have brighten my days too.
puay: though you are in boston now, you often initiative to chat with me. you are missed!
carmen: your support and obedience, alltheway!
gwen: your calls. your giving. appreciate your sharings.
yiyou: though in Japan now, thanks for listening and being supportive.
lays: for always remembering me, and encouraging me.
steven: your concern over my projects. jiayou for easter clip!
jiali: your support and constant enouragements.
xinyi: your jokes and your encouragements which you didnt realised.
minops one: you have been a blessing in my life. going for CG brings a smile to me.
minops 1z: for praying for me.
matthias: for leading the prayer. it really works!
rain: appreciate the chats and this friendship (:
my girlfriends (jassy, prissy and pauline): you guys liven my life. enjoyed much of your presence!
sim friends (myrtle, angeline, debra, shalene and yingju): enjoyed your company.
family: for being there always
God: for who you are and what you have done in my life and through my life.
everyone who happens to be part of my life, you are greatly appreciated as well.

oopsy!

2008-02-12T02:14:00.000+08:00

i realised that i have been neglecting my blog! for soooooooooooo long!
2months at least, christmas' over, new year's over and chinese new year as well! wow, time really passes real fast without us realising. i need to grab the time as much as i can! hee.

no time to waste from now till april.
i'm going full pledge to disciple, to train and to grow people!
watch out for my -ru lai shen zhang- (if you can understand, HAHA)
i'm gonna flood myself with plannings, prayers, God's Wisdom & Strength!

3months of CHIONGING Teamhope, Events & Activities, NBSS, CG, Appreciation Night, Projects, Deadlines and Tests.
yes, Indeed, I need God greatly!

oooooooo, yes, it's challenging and stretched for me but this will definitely bring me closer to God cause i'm going to rely on Him BIG TIME!

take JOY in my serving =D

alright, a small update about my life (:
cny just over yeah? it was fun and interesting for me! to meet up my relatives and to catch up with all my cousins, great! i simply love CNY =D
though i do not really go bai nian that much, nevertheless, i always enjoy CNY. time to relax, time to reward myself! I love pineapple tarts, bah kwa and the hongbaos!

what elseeeeeeeeeeee. there's gonna be changes in my life, so yeah, i'm getting excited over it! =) excited what God will do through my life to impact the rest. yay! keep me in prayers!

sometimes, it just take a thought to encourage, and influence people's lives. do it today. let nothing stop you (: everyone needs encouragement and love in their lives, agree?

alrights, shall stop here. i need to sleep! hehe.

reply to tags: thanks daryl, eze and sherry for the wishes (: appreciate it man! HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO! thanks for visiting my blog often yeah? HAHA.
ohyes, daryl. i remembered talking to you when you are having duty at info counter right? hahaha. have a fruitful weeeeek ahead =D

jetplane

2007-12-17T01:54:00.000+08:00

heys

i'm flying off tmr night.
so, if you need anything regards to ministry, you should know who to look for yeah? HAHA.
sms me if you really need to (: i will try to reply if i can.

enjoy and have an early MERRY CHRISTMAS!

=D

helloooooo

2007-12-04T00:15:00.000+08:00

oops, i realised that i have not blogged for a longggggg time!
more than a month man!
sorry guys. HAHA.

this december season, i'm gonna be super busy!
so i doubt i will be blogging that often.
my life, will be more exciting this season =D
ask me if you want to know. haha

alrights, i'm currently having holidays till first week of Jan.
am going for church camp from 9 to 12th dec.
going to shanghai from 17th to 26th dec.

hmm, what else? ohyes, my results will be out on the 5th.
to be honest, i'm really worried about it. it's not the same as my previous sems. so well, keep me in prayers yeah? i really hope to do well!

andddddd, i think i sprained my back =( i'm not sure what i did.
but well. it hurts :( i ought to see a sinseh if it doesnt get better tmr or something.

oh, i do not want to be indifferent about THINGS, VALUES AND PRINCIPLES. i have to keep this in mind, always reminding myself about it.

yup, my life is not mine only, it belongs to many others.
without you, i wouldnt be here anyway.
so, YOU are important. yup, YOU, the one reading this =D

alrights, take care!

cherished friends =)

2007-10-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

my fri evening was spent super meaningful =D

debbie chantel and shuping really surprised me with sooooo many amazing stuffs.
*photos below =)

we ate at kenny rogers, played arcade and virtual land.

great time spent with my good friends. MEMORABLE!

and here's the box presented to meeeee.

they are REALLY SWEET and go all the way to surprise me!

i really really appreciate all the efforts made, girls!

i mean, wahhhh. first time received such a big box with sooooo many of my favourite things!

i was really touched by this gesture of yours =D

loveyou girls! -treasuredmemories&friendship-

the box from chantel, shuping and debbie! =D 21 ITEMS.

debbie me and shuping!

the 7 items from DEBBIE!

the 7 items from CHANTEL!

the 7 items from SHUPING!

kenny rogers! deliciousssss!
awwww. i feel like eating it nowwww.

eevoon and chantel! =D
`you've really grown. JIAYOU.

debbie and shuping! `deb's fav photo. haha.

`my beloved ex-shepherds and good friends! =)

debbie's card for me! it's really amazing and
cool and nice and funky and stylish and wow!
it's just so amazing. reallllly cool! =D

i received 2 of these for my 21st birthday (:

i received ALOT of FOOD this year.
hmm, i think i have the -i want to eat- look.
HAHA. but i LOVE it anyway! =)

I LOVE THE BIRTHDAY CARDS by all of YOU! =D YUMMY!

closer look. hee.

thanks people! i really felt loved and appreciated. thank you so much =)
your presence in my life is really wonderful.
i believe, with God in the centre of our friendship, it will definitely lasts till the end.
seeing you at the end of the race. JIAYOU! ;D

LOVES.

random photos

2007-10-07T00:35:00.000+08:00

slacking mode of US.

oh no. i might get slaughtered.

i like this photo! =D

RETRO! so COOL-LOOKING!

faithful ushers @ anniversary! =D

celebration for SHUPING (:
`thanks for being part of my life!

4 goody friends!

debra.me.angeline.myrtle(whoHAPPENStoBEguesswho)

taken at dover train. we are always taking photos!

2007-09-27T02:52:00.000+08:00

i will update photos soooooon!

chionggggggg!

2007-09-27T02:48:00.000+08:00

chiong-ing projects again.
this time round, 3 projects in a week.
oh God, save me!

hahaha, no worries.
i believe i can do it with Christ =)

it's gonna be tough work, but yeah, i want to do well.

soooo, continue to chiongggggg ah!

prov 3: 5-6

may your day filled with praises.
praise praise praise!

birthday =D

2007-09-13T03:25:00.000+08:00

thanks to those who sms-ed, called, msn-ed, emailed or verbally wished me happy birthday! *youknowwhoyouare. really appreciate it! andddd, it's really different when you hit 21years old. LOL.

it's really different in terms of the time spent together, the gifts and the cards you will receive. hahaha. i'm looking forward to the gifts from my family. HAHA. BIG GIFTS! =)))) ohyes, and my mum and aunt wished me happy birthday toooo. as in extra efforts in smsing and emailing me. hahaha. yay, appreciate my family members tooooo! =D

and those that haven hang out yet, i'm looking forward! =D
it will be a great time! yay!

and yes, of cos, thank you shuzhen! your treat to spagheddis *wrong spelling, it's really nice and thoughtful of you! thanks for taking good care of me as your sheep. APPRECIATE YOU! =)

cg birthday!

2007-09-13T03:11:00.000+08:00

well, for CG birthday, i dont have any photos. BUT, i have words, which are more valuable =D

Hello! byhuili.

簡單的媽媽 byjiancong.

faith filled byben.

wise =) bymatthias

blur bysteven

teachable bygwen

humble bylays

caring and loving ah bu. haha byyiyou

warmth byaloy

has a willing spirit bypuays

learner :) byxinyi

encouraging byjiali

i was really encouraged by the affirmations! thank you all, for this. something that i didnt really expect. i meant the pasting and guessing affirmation game. haha. THANKS! and appreciate all of your support and love. it's amazing! =D

birthday with ushers!

2007-09-13T02:51:00.000+08:00

Ushers celebration~

box of CARDS! yummy! hahahaha.

usher leaders rocks! =))))

alrights, a cool look for you readers!

hahahahaha. enjoyable yeah? anyway, just wanna thank the usher ministry! there's still the first service ushers, but just tt we didnt take photos. haha. but you guys really brighten my days of serving and i really appreciate that 2 chocolate cakes, sooo many encouragement cards and the fun! thanks and of cos, we will move forward and extend the KOG that lasts eternity. remember our pact in building the usher ministry! =D

you guys rock my life!

girlfriends photos.

2007-09-13T02:23:00.000+08:00

21ST BIRTHDAY PHOTOS

with GIRLFRIENDS

my beloved girlfriends =D

KC and WZ

royce chocolate! superb~

TIGGER CAKE!!

home baked cookies!

foods. moreeeee. but not posting.

super nice gifts! =)

thanks so much for organising and making effort in making such a memorable birthday for me. i really enjoyed it. moments like this will never be forgotten =) and we will always be best of friends! i thank God for you guys in my life that add colours and joy. loveyou guys!

projects

2007-08-27T22:17:00.000+08:00

my projects are here!!
but well, it's kinda heavy and i need to get started. or else i will be dead =(
gonna be busy and not gonna blog any sooner i guess.

will update photos about my birthday soon!

blessed life! (:

mitch albom

2007-08-14T15:08:00.000+08:00

he's my favourite author for now! his books are really meaningful, touching and it melts your heart while reading (: i learnt a lot from his books. seems simple but it talks a lot about life! what's life to you? including influencing lives, impacting, appreciating and cherish people around you. also emphasize on death and meaning of life. why are you on earth for? learn to take heart in the things that you do esp, investing lives in people.

well, what i'm saying doesnt represent much cos i, myself am not a good writer to express. soooo, read the book yourself!

his books can be found in the library.
#1: five people you meet in heaven
#2: for one more day
#3: tuesdays with morrie

- Death ends a life, not a relationship -

read it and enjoy!

spellingTEST!

2007-08-14T01:12:00.000+08:00

I Scored a 100%!

interestin` yeah!

2007-08-07T01:23:00.001+08:00

i will do my best.
in what i can help.
in what i can offer.
i really wish to help you one more time.
i do not wish to regret it like i did the other time.
i want to help you.
really really. i really do.
no matter what, i hope to do my best.

God, make miracle in her life.

today.

2007-07-31T01:01:00.000+08:00

today's a weird day. hahaha. why? let me tell youuuuu!

went to school in the morning, and my bag kind of HEAVY cos of all the notes! hahaha. after that, since i had time and thought it would be good to visit orchard library and borrow some christian literature while waiting. and i borrowed "the kiss of heaven" and ..... (i'm lazy to bring out the book to look at the title, haha. but it should be a nice book)

met up with gwen and puay for shepherding at pepper lunch =)

i went to bras basah, in the hope to buy second hand textbooks -strategic management & retailing- buttttttttttttt, i couldnt find after soooo long! so sad! and the weird thing was that while walking to the wrong bus stop (blur right?), one guy came and approached me! for what right?! to ask me for money. and he was only like 30+ and his dressing was pretty okay? and he sounded rather polite in the beginning. but after i took out only 2bucks when he wanted 4bucks, he made a comment like, "wah, like bargaining". I was like AHHHHH. i'm giving you money leh! and i'm not obligated to give you! anyway, of course i didnt do that. and he went off to "cheat" others. i felt quite dumbed afterward. but well, 给了就给了. no choice right? just hope he will make good use of it =) just like what debbie says.

oh, DEBBIE!
thanks for being a great friend in my life.
thanks for trusting in me and always sharing with me your life.
i'm really honoured and i cherish this friendship with you.
let's serve together and glorify God through our lives.
thanks for understanding me tooooo!

till then people, seeya!

happpyyyy!

2007-07-28T02:36:00.000+08:00

ahh. lazy to blog.
need to sleep already.
tmr service =)
alrights, shall blog another time.
hee.

oops.

2007-07-09T18:43:00.001+08:00

i havent been blogging since ages ago. gosh. guess, i must be more discipline eh?
everytime i open up my blog page, read the tags and then close without blogging. kinda lazy actually. pardon meeee. i will try to update more! haha.

hmm, upcoming event ------------------ I.F =)
look out for it. it's really gonna be cool, interesting and fun!
to all music lovers, animation lovers, we are looking for you!
on the 21st and 28th JULY! seeyou in nexus 12.15 and 2.45!
you will definitely love it.

on the other hand, i just burnt my little finger. Ouch.. so painful :(
ohyea, i dont think they will read but anyway, thanks ian and simon for your advices in e-guitars! (: they are really good. hahahahha.

hmmmmm, let me think. what else?
yeah, i started school last week, kinda missed my holidays so much! haha. but it's okay, i will have a great time in school as well! (: right, my friends in SIM?

what else what else?!
yes, watched transformers~! cool! i love it because of it's amazing shapes and powers. hahaha. watch it if you have not. another show, evans almighty coming up. something like bruce almighty, as in not storyline but the feel is there. haha. must watch! noah's ark and all. so cool to see soooooooooo many animals, and of course ALL KINDS! =D

what else what else what else. *getting mel.
nothing and i'm off to eat my hashbrowns =)

seeya!

JUNE!

2007-06-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

wow. i just realised that i started this blog for a year already. time really passes real FAST! gosh. haha. i was still trying out the layout and it seemed like a week ago? hahah.

alright, i'm going to youth church camp! great time of P&W and also soaking in God's presence! am soooo excited for this camp. fun and great games, warm fellowship that will melt your heart (: praise God!

ENJOY! =D

glorified life =)

going ons.

2007-05-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

many things went passed before i have the opportunity to react.
many moments went passed before i could even remember.
many decisions were made before i could really think it through.
many thoughts went through but i did not care.

just trust and have faith (:

questions!

2007-05-11T02:09:00.000+08:00

ripped from nicole's blog. haha. anyway, announcing...... my exams ended! phew~ =)))))

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
hmm. my hair?

2. What's your favorite color?
green and white.

3. Do you like coffee?
situational. if i need some perks, i will drink coffee.

4. How do you get to school?
By bus usually.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
relaxed! exams are over!!! (:

6. Whats the last letter and First letter of your crush's name?
well, i dont have one now. hahaha.

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
just aim.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
i seldom dream and i usually cant remember them.

9. Could you eat your favorite food everyday for a month and not get sick of it?
i dont think so. eating too much of the same kind is errrrr.

10. What are you doing?
duh. doing these questions? and yes, ministry drive stuffs. sooooo, if you are reading this, join a ministry! (:

11. Do you like drunk?
never gotten drunk before and i dont wish for that to happen either.

12. What comes to mind when I say you?
why ME?

13. What color do you wear the most of?
ask my sheep(s). they always commented that i always wear white and black. LOL.

14. How old is your dad?
seriously, no idea.

15. Would you dance with me to the taco song?
no.

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
yes, ONE THOUSAND!

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick it. i dont like the idea of biting. Ouchhhh.

18. Do you use smileys?
ohyes! here they are. =) and :)

19. How many bedrooms are in your house?I
3 =) not including the toilet's.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
well, if you MEAN hollywood stars, nope. if not, yes. i've seen quite a few =)

21. Do you like cheese?
oh man! of course! =)))))))

22. What's the last song you had stuck in your head?
"join a ministry yeah! join a ministry yeah! join a ministry yeah!" it's easy to sing :D

23. How many countries have you visited?
hmm. 8 i think.

24. Are your parents strict?
yes, i believe so.

25. Would you go sky diving?
that's one of my dreams! buttttt, i might have second thoughts. Haha.

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
why not?

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
you mean he loves potatoes?

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you are in?
hmm, if you consider my enormous diamond ring to be one.

29. Have you ever tried to get inside the refrigerator?
well, maybe my head into the freezer for some cooling effect? hahaha

30. Do you rent movies often?
dont you know there's youtube? anddddd .......

31. Who sits in front of you in math class?
ehem. no more maths class. but jasmine sat beside me during my sec school day in Mr. Chong class. LOL

32. What color is your necklaces?
never notice and dont want to check. haha.

33. Where are you from?
God's child.

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
yes, but why would i want to do that? maybe when i cant sleep at night, i might tryyyy.

35. Where were you on Saturday night?
hmmmmmmm. studying with dewen & junyao at macs, with 2 闲人 around (yushan & xinyi). hahahah.

36. Brown or white eggs?
white sounds more normal.

37. Like rap music?
eh. dont want to offend anyone. but OKAY la.

38. Ever taken a train?
mrt? tu-choo train?

39. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?
nope, but i've seen it 2 years later after it crashed. saddddd ;(

40. Do you know who Skye Sweetnam is?
eh, i check it out at wikipedia. oh, she's a canadian singer. interesting. why her in this question?

41. What day of the week is it?
considering the time. it's friday then.

42. What was your lunch?
oooooo. fried fish soup with rice! (:

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
no idea. maybe i call her up later to check.

44. What does your screen name mean?
eevoon!

45. Ever have muffin?
yup, of course. i'm staying in singapore. haha.

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
if you are talking about engineering stuffs, nope, i didnt. only saw the pic. if not, i dont get what you mean. haha.

47. So, how about those Mets?
baseball team? no idea.

48. When was the last time you went to the movies?
sunshine.

EHH. WHERE IS QUESTION 49?

50. What is your bus number for school?
52.

51. Is your hair curly?
used to. but it became straight.

52. Last time you cried?
cant remember. perhaps watching a show or something.

53. Ever walked into a wall?
perhaps not INTO. but when i was young, i banged onto the glass door ;(

54. Favorite character in scooby doo?
dont watch this cartoon.

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
what's that? i'm a frog in the well.

56. Are you currently wearing socks?
do you think i will wear socks at home? i'm not some freako or something. haha.

57. Favorite time of the year?
december. festive season anddddd camp andddd holidays!

58. Do you enjoy the sound of violins?
wow, it's amazing =)

59. Are you a generally happy person?
yup, i guess soooo =D

60. Are you wearing jeans?
noooooo. bedtime sooon!

oooh. finallyyyyyy! haha.

...

2007-05-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

wahhhhh. it had been a month since i blogged! goodness. sooo long. anyway, i'm still having my exams!! ahh. one more paper on wed and i'm freeeeee. pray for me yeah? (:

hmm, i realised that things always cropped up when hands are full of things. well, maybe that's because many things are onhand, thus when one thing happened, it seems like many many things. sounds like i'm consoling myself. HAHA.

God, let your will be done in my life.

Easter! =)))

2007-04-05T15:00:00.000+08:00

Easter coming soon! =))) am really excited for it! *though i will be having school in the morning :( anyway, seen the easter rehearsal and i personally felt that it was great. really touching and it showed forth God's love for each and everyone of us. masterpiece indeed. we are God's masterpieces!

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

games ++++++ chinese characters

2007-04-03T01:50:00.000+08:00

just reminded of some games that i engaged in and enjoyed quite abit.

citadel
捉迷藏
S.O Dai Dee
Heart Attack
黑芝麻白芝麻
bejeweled
gun bullets
白度那 daytona
arcade games

wahh. i'm sooo amused by the chinese characters. LOL. oops, neglected debbie who's on the line with me now. hahahahhaa.

thanks gwen for telling me how to activate. wow =)))

anyway, puay, this is for you -----> 吴尊
已由 ------> this is what i get when i type yiyou.
高温 ------> this is gwen's. (are you related to me in anyway? same surname.)

enjoyinggggg. play games with me! (:

appreciate youuuu.

2007-03-12T02:37:00.000+08:00

Shepherd: Shuzhen =)

i really want to thank God for you! you have been a great joy and blessing in my life. HELPING me through my struggles and my discouragements. SHARING ups and downs together. GUIDING me step by step to God. DISCIPLING me to be the person God wants me to be. ENJOYING one another companys.

Someone I know that i can count on and rely on. Someone who looks upon God and follows after Christ. Someone i know i can follow and grow much more under your care. thankyou.

your smses, your calls, your sharings bring warmth and smiles to my life (:

you are more than a shepherd. to me, you are my good friend :D

iloveyou shepherd!

photos time! (:

2007-02-23T02:53:00.000+08:00

enjoy! =)))

My old specs. nice design eh? haha.

after christmas service at kallang theatre.

Uni girlfriends - my house!

DEBRA.EEVOON.VANESSA =)) finally met up!

Suntec City! nice place yeah? (:

my cousin niger and me!

cousin & brother =)) went to watch movies and played CS. haha.

that's all for now.. tired. time to sleep! (:

valentine day! (:

2007-02-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy valentine day! =))))

indeed, i've been very blessed. with many good friends around me. a great occasion to celebrate this day! (:

ooo. not forgetting my cg who came over to my house. wreaked havoc in my house and even drove to a 5mins walk route to get a steamboat. hahaha. not to say, both gwen and i caused puay to lose 2bucks. because of her parking coupons. i teared one portion of the coupon -oops- and gwen who often do for her mum, teared the wrong timing. hahahaha. totally amusing. LOL.

and of course, with adorable cg-mates and sheep. it was fun spending time with one another. earlier, it was just me and yiyou. then gwen came. then yiyou left for school. soon after, puay and xinyi arrived. they liked my cooking! hahah. provided that they wont have diarrhoea. LOL.

oooo. an interesting fact. puay can really act as mentally ill-ed daughter. all of them are like calling me ma, niang. right xinyi? hahaha. she uses gwen's hand and head as her communication tool to her "dad". hahah. they can be soooo lame! no wonder puay is in communications. hee.

had fun fellowshipp together too! (: thanks YS for your support and committment to one another =)) we shall grow from glory to glory. yyyyyssssssssssssssss! hurray. heeee.

interesting collages

2007-02-03T02:55:00.000+08:00

WONDERRRFULLL ARTS =)))

GORDON proclaiming meeeee. I rock! (:

and ME proclaming Gordon! you rocks! ("shi tou") haha.

anyway, this was just a game, solely masterminded by GORDON. buttttt, nevertheless, i enjoyed! and i believe you enjoyed too, right Gordon? heeee. it was a fun time of collating all the different colours and competing our speed as well. and know what, i was actually rushing for my project that night. LOL. gwen corrected my english, -you rock- instead of -you rocks- hahahaha. but with a S behind a YOU, looks nicer! my own preference.

alrights, that's all. shall upload more photos the next time. hee.

remembered thai camp.

2007-02-03T02:42:00.000+08:00

hee. i was just looking through my entries in my email. i wrote 2 full page of incidents that happened in thailand camp last year. haha. brought back many memories. (i almost forgotten some of it, oops.) thai camp was really cool, considering those y-hope that i went with. cranky, fun loving, interesting, loving and blah blah blah. seriously, that trip was enriching and i got to know some people better =)))) still remember the hotel stays, i had to sleep with dolphin and jasmine. haha. i was rather reluctant cause i'm not really close to them, and it was kinda weird. BUT, it turned out to be a great time of fellowshipping and sharings! i appreciate all of you who went for the thai camp! God's plan is definitely awesome =))))

anyway, if you can go for thai camp this year, why NOT? it's gonna be a great time of learning and growing. I never regretted going and wished to gooooo for moreeee! hee. anyone wants to sponsor me? =p

event support appreciation night

2007-01-23T01:40:00.000+08:00

3 cheers for ESTHER! She has really given her best for this event! =)))))

a few new initiatives. cool (:

anyway, would like to take this time to thank ALL of you! Ushers, Security, Info Counter, Offering Counter, Housekeeping and Holy Communion teams. I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! =)))))) seriously, without you guys, teamhope is going nowhere. it's YOU that makes up this ministry and complete us. we are a body and we serve together!

THANK GOD FOR YOU GUYS! =))

YOU GUYS ROCKS MY LIFE! (:

*deep² gratitude!

lynda's heart for us! (:

2007-01-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

lynda's ART PIECES for Me & Debbie =)))

LYNDA. thank you soooo much for these 2 photos. i was really touched when you sent it to me. appreciate it greatly. really really! i thank God for placing you in my life. someone i love to spend time with and indeed, we have been through ALOT! all these years. appreciate you greatly! =))) thanks for being a great friend always. love you sister! let's hold one another accountable in this race and win the race with God's glory! (:

..

2007-01-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

it's really saddening to visit 2 wake in a week, esp you know that person personally and how much impact it will cause unto the love ones.

one sentence to conclude. cherish.treasure.appreciate. part of life.

God, may you continue to guide and protect them.

wondering.

2007-01-15T12:05:00.000+08:00

life is really fragile. life is really unpredictable.

tanruoyang.
i may not really keep in contact with him after primary school days, and may not know him that well. but it was really saddening to see someone that i once played and studied together before, passed away. saw his wake and heard of his story in fighting the disease. i was glad to go over to his wake, at least for the last time. thankfully, he's a believer. i believe we will have chance to meet again =))

after the wake, my uncle drove me & my mum around. along the streets of Geylang. my goodness. female prostitutes everywhere. they are really young and pretty.just like my age? some of them were being pressed and pressurized to being one. again, it's really saddening. around my age, what am i doing and what they are doing? i'm not despising on them, but i'm just glad that i've a family that cares and a proper shelter and education. different situations and circumstances = different way of living.

and recently, i was reminded of child abuse. came across the website few months back. yucks. all these people. they are really incorrigible. i really cant stand it man. this is really terrible. if you want to know more, www.lightamillioncandles.com. really, i think the world should just stop being selfish and disgusting! arghhhh.

well, it shows how fortunated, how blessed we are, living in singapore, living in the world of technology. thank God for air-conditioners, internet access, gadgets, handphones and many many things that we often take for granted.

thank you, my family, my girlfriends, my family of christ, my friends and you, Daddy, for loving me =)))

2007!

2007-01-04T04:40:00.000+08:00

it just dawned upon me that 2007 is here! and i need to get ready for changes. YES! changes =)) in ministry, in pastoral, in personal life, in mentality, in attitude, in struggles, in EVERYTHING. change for the better! to extend the KOG. to build up people. to impact & influence, to do everything God wants me to do. simply because i'm his child :)

everyone dislike changes. everyone prefer to keep things the same. even the way we sleep, the way we talk, the way we react to situations, the way we think, the friends we hang out, the way we live, we try our best to keep it the same. simply because we want to continue to be in our comfort zone (that's when we felt the most comfortable). however, to mature, to grow, to live a meaningful & exciting life, we need changes to spice up and improve.

it's time for improvements and move on to greater things that's ahead for us!

*be the one to spark off new things and impact the rest =)))

- I'm watching & guiding you, God says -

28th Dec

2006-12-29T17:47:00.000+08:00

was glad to meet up with my girlfriends yesterday at cineleisure for our yearly date! =))) jasmine gave us ferrero rocher and pauline gave us this handmade gift!

this is mine! i named it christmas =))

fern belongs to pris. christmas is mine. polly belongs to jas.

Pauline is sooooo sweet to go all the way to choose, buy, mould, bake and wrap it for us! thanks cheese =))) ahhhh. i know what! can i call her kaya instead? since pris doesnt like the name - christmas. haha. tell me what you think! (: felt really blessed to have you guys in my life. it has been 8 years. wonderful =)))) i believe our friendship will grow even more in the years to come! hee. loveyou guys!

MO Chalet

2006-12-29T04:21:00.000+08:00

truly, i enjoyed myself alot in the chalet! the fellowship, the time spent together and the bonding. not forgetting the sharing of God's word by Shirls and the sharing by all of us =))) ohyes! and some of you will agree with me. CITADELS! it's really a nice game. heee. wanna take this time to affirm/thank you! yesh, you! haha. look out for your name =)

jerel: thanks for organising this chalet! you planned well and sacrificed much to bless all of us with the programs =) had fun and a great time.! hee. thanks for the breakfast and yesh, your unique note. it's nice and creative =) thank God for you!

puay: you too! thanks for organising this chalet, Mama puay! your servanthood spirit =)) though you keep rushing us like our mama.hee. but we appreciate your hardwork and your efforts made to run this chalet a successful one! thank God for you!

shuzhen: thanks shepherd for the perfume and the card! you really have been a great blessing to me and someone i can trust and count on =)) chiong all the way together!

yaoguo: got to know you better during this chalet. someone who is full of weird ideas to sabo ppl =D and you are good in Citadels! let's challenge again! haha. and pls stop killing architect.

gwen: fun time playing Citadels and BBQ-ing with you. often offer your help to spread butter and honey & turning the hotdogs. LOL. thanks for your affirmation & i really appreciate it! (:

huili: though you came for a hour or so only, but glad that you still came down given your superb workload in school. hope you like the gift! =)

yiyou: thanks so much for holding the umbrella for me when it started to rain. felt loved =DD thanks for your small pillow too! so cute and so nice! appreciate it greatly =) oh, and the go-kart ride. so dangerous but so fun! haha.

jiayi: thanks for initating to spend more time with me! like sleeping and playing together. not to forget, you and QJ got me up onto rainbow!! haha. thanks AR. LOL. it was really scary! but, great time spent with you! and also the go-kart ride! so fun! haha.

qianjin: thanks for terrorizing me throughout this chalet. LOL. thanks for all the fun times too! a good BBQ-er. remember your precious? hee. and you are a loving shepherd =)) ohyes, stop getting yourself killed or robbed AND stop killing me!

amelia: thanks so much for your care & help during BBQ-ing =)) your cheerfulness and your servanthood spirit. enjoy spending time with you!

ethan: thanks for taking my unglam photo and laughing at my mishap. haha.

ben: thanks for your servanthood spirit in preparing breakfast for all of us! the eggs =)))

simon: thanks for your gift from China. appreciate it! ;) aja aja fighting!

ian: didnt know you can curl till so small. hahahaha. and sorry to kill you, warlord.lol. you are a nice player! yeah. let's play again =)))

xinyi: thanks for your card! appreciate & cherish this friendship with you too. thanks for offering your time and talents for this chalet (: and lastly..... Jesus loves me. (you know,yeah?) hee.

daniel: thanks for inspiring all of us. you've been a great leader and i learnt alot from you. your passion and your love for God & people :)

jiali: thanks so much for the heart felt card and the belt! i really really love it and appreciate it =)) you've been a great sister and i really enjoy spending time with you! (: oh please, stop taking warlord. haha. and stop destroying my land for free. LOL.

walmond: oh,your ride on rocket amazes me. haha. and you are a dangerous rider.

wynnie: gotta know you better in this chalet and i'm glad that you stayed overnight on the first day! then we can have more fun together! thanks for offering help to carry my wallet and stuffs =)))

Shirls: It was fun playing Citadels together! thanks for teaching and guiding all of us =)))

well. really enjoyed this chalet! a heart warming and refreshing one =)))
thank you guys for the precious moments spent (:

camp & christmas!

2006-12-29T02:32:00.000+08:00

indeed, december, a month of celebration and thanksgivings.

God added upon my leadership skills, my relational skills and most importantly, I met God =)) many events were carried out in this month. for example, breakthrough camp, christmas service at kallang theatre and MO chalet. wow, it was amazing how God actually brought me through all these events and blessed me with abundant fruits & blessings!

breakthrough camp.
though it was only a 3 days 2 nights camp.but definitely, it was fruitful and inspiring. pastor david chen - Man of God who inspired all of us with his powerful testimonies and blessings. get caught with us in the vision of building strong and biblical people in singapore and around the world.

*accommodation. honestly, was rather stressed about it but i was glad that God guided me within the limited time and strength that we had. thus, i would like to apologize to all whom i might speak bluntly or with negative attitude during the midst of the camp. it's not intentional and i will change from it =))

christmas harvest.
wow.this is a time to testify God's goodness and faithfulness in my life! for the first time of my life, i actually brought 5 friends to the service and my uncle & mum, oops, not forgetting my brother! wow, praise God! i was really glad though i neglected some of you, sorry!! and you know what?! Minops hit our goal! We hit 46!! wow! when shuzhen, daniel and i were collating stats, we were all so nervous and excited =)))))) this is amazing! God, indeed, has been faithful to us! remember: God is seldom early, never late and always punctual. God has a great plan JUST FOR YOU!

Free Phone Cards!!

2006-12-16T00:29:00.000+08:00

hey everyone!

announcement! hahaha.

anyone who has maids at home, international friends or anyone you know who often call back to their hometown or overseas using phone cards, here's a free deal for them! I personally have alot alot of $5 old phonecards (unused) and I'm going to give it out. but there's some things to take note. It will only be usable till the end of this year and only able to use it at those OLD phone booths. (Can be located inside MRT and ulu places, i guess)

So, I was thinking, what's the point for me to keep so many cards, might as well, give out and bless the rest who wants to call overseas. anyone can get it from me, okay?! Get it fast cause only able to use till 31 Dec 2006 in Singapore.

yup! ask around okay? hee. thanks =))))

FEEL FREE TO GET IT FROM ME. I'M REALLY SERIOUS IN GIVING OUT ALL!!

back!

2006-12-09T02:02:00.000+08:00

hee. just came back today from malaysia. pretty relaxing and enjoyed some interesting activities though the hygience wasnt that good. haha. i really really thank God for placing ME in singapore. such a great country though many complained about its strictness in laws and no freedom of speech, but i would rather prefer that than to live in a country that makes up of uncultured or rather "no laws country" environment. i'm really blessed to have a shelter over my head, enough money to spend though need to be more thrifty =p and also material things that will be provided always. well, what more can i ask for when i have my father in heaven to provide everything i need?

show you guys some photos!

my lovely cousin - niger with his dad, my beloved uncle!

Tammy! How adorable she is! heeee.

Lion =))) from animal safari. there are still many many animals, but this is the nicest. haha.

gambling den in our villa. hehe

me and niger! at cowboy town =)))

watched 4D show. SOS Planet! pretty interesting but too short and the storyline - bad.

super nice clouds when heading back to JB. haha.

yup, and went for shopping for awhile. not too long because my cousins nagged at us for shopping sooo much. but,,, we didnt!! ahha. oh, i bought 360 degree leader and be a people person at JB popular! both totalled up to $22, i think. haha. so cool! thank God for such a offer! hee.

ohyes, anyway, i got back my results. supposedly on wed night, but was out of town, so i just came back and check. 2 CR and 2 Dist. hmm. though not really up to my expectations, but thank God for my results! praise God!! =))))

alrights, am dead tired! gonna go sleep. tmr service, or rather later =)) and am having meeting before service and cg after service. i'm gonna enjoy myself!! :))))

flea market =)))

2006-12-05T02:46:00.000+08:00

my friend's flea market is here again! do visit and grab cheap deals =))))))

pleased.

2006-12-02T01:05:00.000+08:00

met up with yiyou for shepherding. pretty good. shared about how people responded to God in different ways and how we discerned the "rights" and "wrongs" in our midst. haha. so interesting! esp, the part on deco ministry (: deco is fun =))))

ohyes JIALI! you are wanted! teach me and shuzhen how to cycle!! haha. okay? heeee.

oo. after meeting yiyou, met jiamin to discuss on ministry stuffs and also taught a lesson on team building gathering. cool lesson to change and improve your ministry! (: did some deco stuffs. you saw the lightings on the christmas tree in Nexus? that was one of my production! haha. actually, just helped to align and lay the lightings around the christmas tree. hahahaha.

thennnnn. went to meet my dearest friends.. jas, sheila, pris and pauline! it was good! since months and months, i didnt get to meet up with them man. anyway, zh came. i didnt seen him for a year, maybe? hee.

oh pris! thanks for your card. though it was late, but nevertheless, i really really appreciated it. appreciate and treasure this friendship i have with you and the rest! days in secondary school life were memorable and i will never forget it though i have STM. LOL. and of course, i knew that you would be there whenever i need you. hee. thank you girl! love you =)))

photos time!

2006-12-01T02:13:00.000+08:00

DANIEL's birthday! =))))

i just realised. where's IAN?

promoting toast bread and pineapple toast? haha. it's NICE!

jiayi and me! =))))

we looked like this. but look below!

tribute to PUAY who wasnt around. *dont we all look like puay?! (:

alrights, had a hard time uploading photos to blogger. hmm. hopefully it works well! hahah.

good old days.

2006-12-01T01:46:00.000+08:00

was looking through a few encouragement cards, notes that were given to me for the past few years. including those when i was still a CL in NE. well, it definitely brought memories back. immediately. didnt really read all, but i saw an encouraging note from huishi and lynda. still remember that CG, only the 3 of us. i forgot the reason why. but nevertheless, we enjoyed ourselves, wrote encouragement notes to one another. i will always keep and remember it for heart ((: thanks huishi and lynda! definitely, it was a time of bonding.

afterwhich, i looked back at my life in Hope for the past 7 years. indeed, God has been faithful to bring me through. my everything, in God's hands. well, i am assured =))))

anyway, wanted to write more. but i realised that i still have 2 teachings to prepare. alrights, i shall go off now! haha. but i will still upload some pictures for you guys! haha.

photos again! =)

2006-11-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

my photos cant be uploaded properly according to my manner. LOL. shall upload in another entry then. no choice. look again! (:

the first one was a pic that i took at Ngee Ann City =) the walkway from ngc to wisma. so cute right? it was supposed to be many many sheep(s). heeee.

the second pic with gwen and ruizhen (: look at our tongues. black in colour. ate a sweet given by debbie! haha. seems like we were poisoned.

myrtle.eevoon.deborah (:

as above: 4 photos. we took it when we went for a day event at suntec city. it was fun and interesting =) people there, were funny, approachable and nice. thank God! haha. first 2 photos were embarassing though we took it at a corner of suntec. but still, it was crowded. haha. *there was people!!! hahahaha. but i sort of enjoy doing such things! (((:

alrights, that's for all now. waiting for my computer to download daniel's birthday celebration photos and i will then upload again. heeeee. seeya!

photos!

2006-11-17T03:34:00.000+08:00

i'm finally back! after a whole series of exams. hee. though many things happened, but.... God's grace is sufficent. learnt alot of things throughout this period. faith and thanksgiving =) anyway, photos for you guys to enjoy for this period! i'm tooo lazy to blog word by word. guess, photos are the best evidence! (: ENJOY!

tax collector and superwoman or maybe the police.

am trying to scare myrtle? but seems like she's ridiculing me. *born loser. LOL.

my uni friends! (: taken in SIM.

My poly friends =) meet up soon again yeah?!

debra and me! cathay starbucks.

the girls ((((:

hee.

2006-11-03T02:01:00.000+08:00

this is the birks that i wanna get. nice nice nice?! been wanting to get that for soooo long. haha. it's my birthday present. from my mum (: she might be getting one for herself as well. so cool. hahah. hopefully can share, but quite hard. haha. different size.

birks!

2006-11-01T02:00:00.000+08:00

hey! anyone wants to get a pair of birks? ahhahaha. i need 2 more pairs and the shipping fees will be wavied. hee. let me know asap! hee.

`quotes

2006-10-20T02:08:00.000+08:00

Where the will of God leads you, the grace of God will keep you.

I believe in a life after this. I believe in a hope everlasting. I believe in a God all-powerful. I believe in a love unchanging, unfailing, undaunted, and forever, and for us, this love would cause the Son of God to die in our place to ransom us back from the evil we created. I believe in Jesus Christ.

I believe in God. I believe in something greater and so much bigger than I am. Its not all about me.

Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Jesus is Lord!

LA ESPERANZA ESTA EN JESUS

With each year we have new experiences, and all that we are left with are memories of the past. Today we spend our time and effort making goals, dreaming, planning and hopeing that one day these will come true. Today i look back on my past and learn from my faults. Tomorrow i will look back on today and learn as well. Even if we learn that not all of our dreams, hopes, wants come true that is not an excuse to not dream. We need to have Faith and courage to continue. In the end you will remember the things you didnt do and rather then the things you did. Seize the Day!

I believe in forgivness. it's hard but it will cleanse the soul.

I believe that Christ is soon coming to take those who are ready home with him.

Jesus Loves You the way you are today. Even though you think that you are not worthy.

I believe that I am in a time where I am making history with my God. The past is forgotten, I am a new creation and I live for Him. And as I look into the future, I feel secured that I will be spending eternity with my God.

When there is faith, there are miracles.

decisions: many have taken this. choices: many have made this. beliefs: many have had one. knowledge: many have been proven wrong. today i have seen a faith without hate, love that is never late. yesterday, today and when this will be read again, one thing will remain; the purest of God's exhibitions. His physical manifestation on earth.

我相信有天堂.

all these are not written or said by me. i took it from somewhere. all the quotes are represented by different person, internationally. i found it rather interesting and encouraging. and that's the reason why i'm sharing.
there's many people out there, speaking out their faith to the rest of the world, feeling burden for those who hasnt known God personally yet. well, am glad that there's soooo many people together in this race. heeeee.

anyway, felt blessed tonight! in fact, everyday! haha.

well, be thankful with what you have. Have a thankful heart =)

a break

2006-10-18T09:09:00.000+08:00

hasn't been blogging. haha.

i need to study man! 7 more days to exams. alrights, i shall go back and study.

meanwhile, God is faithful once again! =))))))))))))))))

ask and you will be given! (:

God is faithful (:

2006-10-05T00:07:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. God is soooo faithful! i'm so blessed. really blessed. God has been soooo faithful in my studies. Studies has always been the area that i really want to honour God with. in fact, God held me throughout my life, from a child to a young adult now. i have always been the one, not very hardworking neither am i super smart kind. but God often open up doors for me.

primary school. i went to a primary school that wasnt well-known cause i couldnt get into a good school because of my registered ulu home address. thus, my mum just registered me to a primary school near my new home so that i can get in without any balloting or drawing lots. met alot of good friends, but i believe, it was my most childish and kiddish times. haha. God, indeed, protected me (the most timid girl on earth, i believe. *dont even dare to borrow colour pencils from my classmates when i was in P4. i cant imagine it now. haha.) throughout my primary school days. i remember i was the only girl from my school's lousiest EM2 class to get into express stream at the end of P6. in fact, i thought i would end up in normal academic because of my -not so good- results. nevertheless, God, being the faithful one, has long planned out this route for me since i was young.

secondary school. i was posted to a school that i actually never heard of before and kinda disliked it somehow. however, because of God's divine plan, i stayed in that school and the reason at that point of time, was because of the toilet. (LOL) i stayed throughout for 4 years and i really cherish and appreciate the times spent with my good friends, though i remember i was rather emotional at times. haha. times spent in my secondary school years, will never be able to replace with other stuffs in the world. the memories we had. we had fun, joy, anger, sadness. pulling one another to study hard for O'levels, counselling one another, supporting one another, loving and bearing with one another (: that was my grown up period. i learnt many things through experiences and from each and everyone of them. at the same time, i wasnt very hardworking or attentive in class. always -ling shi bao jesus' jiao- (understand?) heee. and i even skipped church services and cg because of O'levels. however, God continued to show his grace upon me. my O'level results was good, to me at least. i was able to choose any course that i wish to go at that point of time. i'm thankful (:

polytechnic. i got into my first choice and in fact, i didnt have much opinions as to which course i will get in. cause at that point of time, i really had no idea which course to choose. as long as it wasnt engineering, science stuffs, i'm fine with it. haha. but again, that was God's plan for me. he placed me in this course that i actually enjoy years later and could apply in my life. the value of this course =) knew alot of friends, in fact good friends. times spent with them was great and fruitful! supporting one another towards christ and impacting others. i remember my grades improved gradually or tremendously semester after semester. praise God! all my projects, tests and examinations - because of God's grace, i graduated from polytechnic with pretty okay/good results.

university. hmm, this stage is currently where i am now. though i have not been through everything yet, but i trust in God that he will be as faithful and bring me through. in fact, God shown forth his love and grace upon me recently or rather today. few tests and project grade. for a few tests, i actually got HD or Distinction (cos 2 tests arent back yet and one of it, i expect to be Distinction) haha. and for one of my projects, it was so different from polytechnic project. i panicked and being faithless, i prayed for only a pass instead of better result. i took back the assignment, with a pass. feeling rather disappointed. BUT! to my amazement, that assignment wasnt mine. LOL. when i took back my own assigment, i actually got a credit, which is something like a B. praise God yeah!

wow! i, myself am amazed by God's miracles and power in my life. how he lead me from primary school, to secondary school, to polytechnic and to university life. God has always been faithful in my life =) really appreciate it.

ohyes, my brother made this comment before. he was saying that i wasnt very smart (in fact, i think he's smarter than me), so blur sotong at home but yet, my studies have always been better than him and yet seems -more successful-. and my mum actually replied," it's all because of God in her life." AMEN! i truly agree with it!

all of you who are currently having exams. jiayou and put your trust in God (: God is faithful in my life, and he will too, in your life as you trust and honour him. oops, kinda long this entry eh. haha. but i just want to declare God's love and grace and power and miracles! :)))))))))

nothing beats more than having God in your life =)))))

I offer my life to you

2006-10-02T02:51:00.000+08:00

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

Chorus:
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

this is really a nice song. i was humming when i was doing project just now. been looking for it and even asking around for the title. HAHA. it's really a nice song! hear it and make it your personal prayer to God =) ahhh. this song is sooo ministering andddddddddddddddd -i dont know how to explain- but i just simply love this song! so awwwwwesomeee!

*thanks debbie, huili and gwen for the title and ethan for the song! (:

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

2006-09-30T22:24:00.000+08:00

heeeee. nothing, just feel like heeeee-ing. hahahah.

alright, i shall blog before i start doing my project, ER. stands for? Eternal Realm. ahahah. kidding! it means employment relations. hahahhaa.

hmmmmm. usually doesnt have time to blog after sat service. no idea why. maybe i'm just lazy to blog or be online. haha. anyway, today's atmosphere during P&W was great! simply awesome. i was simply slacking around cause my two floor managers were on duty. thanks harry & sengkim! initative and willing brothers. it's a blessing to have them around (:

I live my life for you
and my world will never be the same

Yesh! when i sang this during praise, i really really believe in this. my world was never the same ever since i live my life for Jesus! though it may not be a bed of roses, nor it was sail-smoothing, but i really appreciate the fact that God loves me still and have always provided me with all that i need. he always send people to encourage me, to spur me on and also testimonies of God's faithfulness and grace. it's always nice to see people growing and serving God faithfully. i have definitely seen a few ushers, growing and they will continue to grow even more! praise God! whenever they told me about the new leadership roles that they took or currently taking, i always have a sense of -wowness- haha. God is really moving among our midst (: really appreciate the fact that people make effort to want to improve/grow. be in ministry or personal growth. that should be the way, man! hmm, am blessed. really blessed :))

hmm. harry's farewell. gonna miss you great time, brother! a really faithful, serving and willing brother. hope to work with you again. may you prosper even more in the next ministry =) God will definitely add upon. yeah!

yup, off to do project. yup! aja aja fighting =) hahahahahha.yeah, debbie! you too. heeeee.

2006-09-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

2006-09-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

cool yeah? (:

2006-09-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

harry, the only guy. hairrryyyyyyyyy. OOPS

2006-09-30T22:19:00.000+08:00

harry's farewell. we are going to miss you!

2006-09-30T22:18:00.001+08:00

durian and chocolate ice cream. super delicious. hee.

2006-09-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

look at the kiddish paper plates! just for shuping (:

2006-09-30T22:17:00.000+08:00

dont you dare offend me! HAHA

2006-09-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

shuping's birthday celebration

2006-09-30T22:15:00.000+08:00

Cinnamon Choco Espresso from TCC. NICE!

ohyeahhhhhh.

2006-09-21T23:59:00.001+08:00

guess who i saw just now?!

hahahahah. i saw ivy lee! li jing mei. some of you might not know if you dont watch channel 8 shows. haha. anyway, why i'm so excited about it, there's a reason behind it. haha.

i remember that when i was young, maybe pri 2 or 3? there was this star search. and ivy lee was inside, competing. and she won! haha. and since then, i have always noticed her in shows that she acted. i could remember her -poor- acting skills, few years back, to the -pretty good- acting skills now. haha. she improved! in fact pretty much.

oh, today i saw her in junction 8. she's pretty! and slim. but she seems abit different from the TV that i saw always. maybe of my TV la. hahahaha. but yeah, a good chance. okay, i like her, that's why i'm favouring her or rather being biased. haha. so those who dont really like her, dont try to rebutt yeah? haha.

hmm, i was thinking of why i wasnt that excited when i saw ou xuan, qi yiwu and alvin the other day compared to ivy lee. haha.

eh, i used to talk to ivy lee when i was young. Oops! hahahahahhahaha. wanna know more, ask me! LOL. it's kind of a joke. heeee.

2006-09-21T15:58:00.000+08:00

ppuay n yiyouu

2006-09-21T15:57:00.000+08:00

look alike yeah? hahahaha

2006-09-21T15:56:00.002+08:00

HISTORY MAKER!

2006-09-21T15:56:00.001+08:00

i looked pretty old beside nigel =( haha

2006-09-21T15:56:00.000+08:00

Faithful Floor Managers! thank God for you =)

2006-09-21T15:55:00.001+08:00

GIRLS rawks! (:

2006-09-21T15:55:00.000+08:00

matt's dream of being a popstar (:

2006-09-21T15:54:00.001+08:00

HISTORY MARKER!

2006-09-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

soooo blurryy! haha. huili and me!

2006-09-21T15:53:00.001+08:00

sabo himyi! haha.

2006-09-21T15:53:00.000+08:00

lester with a lady-bag n sengkim, behind looking enviously. LOL.

2006-09-21T15:52:00.000+08:00

what's with the faces? haha

2006-09-21T15:51:00.000+08:00

hanyun, happily eating and yinling -shocked- state.

2006-09-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

where's diqiang?! *behind tiffany.

2006-09-21T15:49:00.000+08:00

trying to 'gek' me with the plastic. haha

2006-09-21T15:47:00.000+08:00

why are you guys smiling soooooo fake? HAHA.

2006-09-21T15:46:00.000+08:00

fat MAMA dinner (: *with ushers.

external hard drive

2006-09-21T15:40:00.000+08:00

anyone has external hard drive to lend for 2 days? (:

hmm, around 20gb or so? hahahah. i wanna format my com, but i have soooo many precious things inside. haha. be a kind soul today! LOL.

no lah, if you have and it's within your ability, lend me k? thanks! =)

time to blog!

2006-09-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

hahah. it has been long yeah?

let me see. hmm, last week, was studying for P&M and MR test. pretty good for P&M test, but cant say the same for MR cause i was dead sick when i was about to start studying for MR! haha. had food poisoning for few days. but injection always works for me! i stopped vomitting straight after injection, yeah! thank God. though i couldnt really study, but i think the test was okay? *hopefully!

anyway, i didnt eat for 3 days when i were sick, but i dont think i'm thinner. haha. no idea why.

hmm, now it's projects projects again! haha. 3 more to go and 1 test! then, it's my study break for about 2 to 3 weeks, and exams! then holidays! hahah. i need the break. to watch shows! LOL.

time to do projects. seeyou guys around! (:

2006-09-08T02:24:00.000+08:00

i love this boy! david. 3years old only! hee.

2006-09-08T02:23:00.000+08:00

sporty yeah?