This post is kinda long, but it's worth your time :)
I'm very inspired by this lady, Judith Halim.
This is not her complete story. She actually ventured out even more than this. but well, this alone is enough for you to awe at God's grace and love :)
Judith’s TESTIMONY
I am an Indonesian married to a Singaporean (ex-husband). We used to live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I was only 20 at that time. I came to Singapore in July 1994 during my 8th month of pregnancy. The objective was to have my baby born in Singapore to obtain citizenship. The second day after my delivery, the doctor released news that they detected some abnormality in my baby. The doctors brought in more specialists and concluded that my baby Joel had 4 complications:
1. 3 holes in her heart (Pulmonary Stenosis)
2. Right ventical is very thick that it prevents the blood circulation to go to the upper part of the body
3. Abnormal brain development (William Syndrome - is one of the Down Syndrome category)
4. Haemophelia Carrier
At that juncture, the doctor was convinced she will not live. He said that she will need to go through several surgical procedures when she is a little more developed, and with that they told me to return home for the time being and wait.
I was given strict instructions to watch over her very carefully and monitor her condition because if she should ‘turn blue’ she would be gone. Because of Joel’s conditions, I had to remain in Singapore to seek further medical treatment, while Joel’s father shuttled between Singapore and Jakarta.
When Joel was 1 month old, I received the most unexpected news from Joel’s Father. He said we are not meant for each other and he doesn’t love me anymore.tried so hard to save our relationship, but he never gave it a chance. And with that, he left us the next morning returning to Jakarta. Here I was, alone with a sick child, in a foreign land; my whole world had caved in on me. I kept asking myself what went wrong and
It was when Joel was 3 months old, I finally took the courage to fly to Jakarta to salvage my marriage. Then, I finally realized the problem has got nothing to do with me, but Joel’s father instead. When I got into our home in Jakarta, I saw with my own eyes that he already had another woman living with him in what used to be our home. All my dreams and my hope were completely and utterly shattered.
I returned to Singapore totally defeated, devastated, full of pain, agony, misery and depression. I decided to end it all. At that time I was living with Joel in a small rented room in a HDB flat with no money, no friends and no one to help me. There seemed to be no way out of my situation. We were on the 14th floor and my plan was to jump down with my baby.
It was in the afternoon around 2pm when I wrote a letter to my mom in Indonesia telling her how sorry I was and that I will not be able to take care of her in her old age. Just as I was finishing up with the letter, an insurance agent called and asked if I would like to take up an insurance policy for my baby. I said no and very briefly explained my circumstances. He did not push further but instead invited me to church and said to me that there is a special speaker from Armenia preaching in Wesley Methodist Church and said I should attend the service. I accepted his offer and he came to pick me up with his wife.
When we arrived, I was seated right at the back with my baby in my arms, and the place was packed with at least 1000 people. Although I used to attend church in Jakarta because my ex-husband was a Christian, I didn’t know what the singer was singing or what the preacher was saying because my mind was not on the service. Later, when the preacher invited people to an altar call, I was singled out and asked to come on stage.
He began praying and asked the whole congregation to stretch forth their hands to my direction and he began to pray. He released a word to me He said GOD knows what you are going through and you will walk out of it to be a better person and a better servant for HIM. I still don’t know what was going on at that time but I saw the whole auditorium was filled with red in color (radar red) and I gave my life to JESUS. I left the auditorium exhausted and I went straight home and slept so soundly for the first time in months.
When I woke up at 9 o’clock the next morning, and looked out the window, something felt different. I used to always stare helplessly and without hope at the same trees, the same sky, the same blocks of flats around, but something is different this time. Things around me seemed to look beautiful. Something was taken away from me supernaturally, the pain in my chest is gone, the feeling of doom and gloom is gone and I know that it has to be JESUS. It has to be HIM that healed me and took away my pain last night when everyone prayed over me at the meeting.I picked up the letter that I wrote the day before, and I told myself that I am not going to die I am going to live to share the goodness of my healer Jesus Christ, I am going to live for my daughter and I am going to live for people who appreciate me. I took the courage to break the news to my mom and invited her to come over to Singapore to help me look after my child as I’m determined to look for a job and to start my life all over again.
I began to pick up the bits and pieces of the brokenness inside of me and started to have hope. I started to look for a job. I did not speak English or mandarin at that point of time, although I had a law degree from Indonesia.
I went to many companies and law firms but was rejected because I did not speak English. I thought maybe I just apply for any sales position or even a cashier in McDonalds, but I was also rejected. Finally, I had no other choice but to accept a part time opening in F&N Coca Cola as a security guard because I spoke Malay. My pay was only $2.80 per hour, for at least 9 hours a day under the hot sun.Life was so tough, I could hardly make ends meet. My daughter was so sick and I really could not afford the medical fee, even as the doctor was pressing me to send her for surgery that will cost more than S$100k.
I was so poor that I can only afford to have one meal a day just to make sure my mother and my daughter had enough food to eat. On many occasions, I would go hungry sometimes for days, and there are times where I fill my stomach only with left over bread skin, while my mother and daughter share a packet of chicken rice.
But our GOD is a promise fulfilling GOD and HE is always faithful, HE gave me a verse in Joel 2:25-27 : HE said so I will restore you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord your GOD, who has dealt wondrously with you, and My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel; I am the Lord your GOD and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame.
Somehow, things started to change. 4 months after working as a security guard I had another offer from a construction company to be a part time sales clerk which pay $4 per hour for 3 months assignment. By HIS grace, I fulfilled the job well and the company extended my employment for another 3 months with salary of $8 per hour, by the grace of GOD, I was offered a permanent job with the company and I was made the Administrator. The company also sent me for English courses and further studies.
Again by HIS grace, I was promoted from Administrator to Asst Manager, then to Manager and later to Senior Manager and this was within the short period of 4 years. From there I was head hunted for Senior management positions in other companies and finally, GOD put me where I am today, to Manage a successful business as a Managing Director.
AND ALL THIS IS ONLY POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF GOD.EVEN TILL TODAY AS I LOOK AT MY OWN LIMITATION AND CAPACITY.I AM STILL AMAZED AND IN AWE AT THE ABUNDANCE OF GOD’S PROVISION.
As God was restoring my career and finances, it was also during this time that I met Jason, my present husband. I had gone back to church and we were introduced through a mutual friend and the rest as they say is history. The Lord restored to me a husband, a God fearing man, good husband, good father to Joel. One that accepts both me and Joel as who we are. My life was restored according to HIS promise in Joel 2:25-27.
My daughter was still very sick at that time and so thin, she was still not able to walk at the age of 4 and too weak to even stand. The doctor said that she will die and has no hope to live pass the age of 6. Even if she somehow managed to live, she will never grow physically as do normal children.When it is the end of man’s way, it is the beginning of GOD’s way. I knew at that point of time that I have GOD and my GOD is able to do what man cannot do. I began to pray with Jason, my church, my cell group, my pastor prayed and I cry out to GOD using the prayer of Hannah and I said Lord If you could look into my affliction and heal my baby I will give my life to you. And we continued to trust God for healing.In Dec 2000, when Joel was about 6 years old, I heard a voice from my inner being asking me to bring Joel back to see the specialist again.
The cardiologist did the mammogram and printed out the result to make comparison with the previous results and started asking me lots of question:
What did you do to this child? Where have you been? Why did you stop your regular visit for past 2 years?
I replied I did not do anything, I did not bring her anywhere, I only pray to my GOD And the cardiologist said, It cannot be because Joel heart is perfect, with the results showing a normal heart, which is totally different from the last scanning that was done. It is a new heart. I told the Cardiologist JESUS HEALS. Halleluyah!!!
Today Joel is 12 years old and attends a special school (APSN). She is also appointed as class monitor as well as a school prefect. With the heart complications gone, she is able to jump, run and even swim like a normal child. She also plays the piano, sings and dance. But most important of all is that she loves the Lord. AMEN!
her life is a gift from God to many of us.
what amazes me is Judith's obedience and faith in Christ :)
*ask me if you want the continuation of her story. it's more than this.
God, thank you for your love and grace once again. I can never thank you enough, Daddy. I want to fulfill your dreams in my lifetime.
"in my life, be lifted high. in my world, be lifted high. in our love, be lifted high"
